Kiwi Experience / Birthday Vibes

Jordan's Kiwi oddessy continues here and now with our latest installment available today for your eyeballs.

So, last time I gave you a long old list of the cool shit I've been doing. Today won't quite the same. But rest assured, I've been fucking shit up like Donald Trump (only with respect for women, climate change and minorities). We left off last time at The Fat Freddy's gig in The Villa Maria Winery. Fat Freddy's really seem to be at their peak still after all these years, it's really amazing to see a band who've been around for over 9 years killing it so well. I would pay the same money and more to watch it all again. This will come as something of a shock for some of you, but Villa Maria very nearly ran out of wine at the event!

From today's title you may be wondering what is Kiwi Experience? Essentially they've got loads of buses that drive around NZ taking foreigners such as yours truly to various cultural and exciting points of interest throughout the country. As you can imagine 40 plus rowdy European's, Canadians and Americans running all over NZ on a bus together guarantees fun times and high jinx are not in short supply.

Since first coming to NZ in December I have developed something of a passion for kayaking. Our first first stop on the Kiwi Experience trip was up to Hot Water Beach near Thames, an area I am very familiar with as it's where Chris' parents live. The preliminary Kiwi ex activity was a kayak trip though a marine nature reserve to Cathedral Cove, a very popular beach with suitably impressive rock formations. After the excursion we watched the sun set at Hot Water Beach. Why is it called hot water beach? Three guesses.... At low tide there are geothermal pools under the beach which heat the water providing you with a nice warm bath on the beach.

For the Lord of The Rings/Hobbit fans it was necessary to take a trip over to Hobbiton. Now, personally I like the movies but am by no means a "super fan". They only had to say there was free beer in The Green Dragon pub at the end of the trip and I quickly signed up to visit Casa Del Baggins. Being a man of the people I ended up acquiring not one, not two but three free drinks from the Hobbiton pub a little tipsy. Whilst it was cool to attend you can't actually go into the Hobbit houses and there are so many tourists it kind of ruins the magic of what should be a tranquil environment. Sadly they are trying to squeeze every last penny out of the franchise.

On my actual birthday I had so much goddam fun it's frightening. Firstly they day began at a Waiotapu Geothermal Park. Learning about the Maori relationship with the land and how they used different geothermal baths for different purposes including healing and even for cooking. But it wasnt just a talk, oh no. We were cooked us a boiled in egg in the boiling hot pools which was the perfect breakfast accompaniment. Lastly we were treated to a traditional Maori greeting with suitable tong wagging and screaming. Lastly at the park it  was time to see that native bird of New Zealand, the infamous Kiwi. Now, I had been expecting to see Kiwi birds roaming the woods etc whilst walking. Sadly, the Kiwi is a nocturnal, flightless and endangered bird. However being the birthday boy my wish finally came true and I got to see one in the flesh. They kind of remind me of the Pokémon Doduo but only with one head.

Bungee or bungy (if you're a Kiwi?) Jumping has been on my mind for a very long time and Lake Taupo was the place for it. I can safely say that was one of the best things I have ever done. You may have already seen the video but if not check it out on Instagram. My lovely Canadian buddy Dayna joined me for the bungee swing and and I did a the solo jump also to get the adrenaline pumping.

Having now spent 25 years on this glorious earth I found it strange that I never met somebody with the same birthday as me. Mac Miller is pretty damn close (only a day or so apart) however 2017 is a year of firsts just one, or two, or even three but there was 4 of us celebrating on January 21st. Shout out to Paul, Ben (or Dan) and the other Ben I just met today. Birthday twins are the best people to have around and it makes that special day a little more fun sharing it with others. Multiple G&T's were consumed, dance offs took place and general revelry ensued until the early hours. Finishing with the obligatory late night McDonald's trip for hash bowns and nuggz.

2 days post birthday was arguably the most difficult day of my life to date but also one of immense pride. Hiking the Tongariro crossing is known as one of the best 1 day hikes in NZ and even the world. A 22 KM trek through desert conditions surrounded by nothing but volcanic rock can be quite daunting, but being the tough chap I am that just wasn't enough. Along the walk you have the option to climb the world famous MT Doom from Lord of The Rings. The place Frodo spends three movies trying to reach to destroy the one ring. Coming in over 2000 m above sea level, hiking this bad boy is no mean feat and usually adds about 3 hours onto an already 6 hour hike. In total it took 8 hours and 40 minutes to walk cover 25 km including Doomy Mc Doomface. It was by no means easy and at times I felt that I couldn't do it, you were often climbing a near vertical slope in  volcanic sand  and rubble with two steps forward and half a step back. The views from the top made it all worthwhile. Mike and Elliot my hiking buddy's provided the perfect combination of complaining and support to make it through to the end in one piece.

This weeks diary entry will be finished with pieces of wisdom and general statements from my travels thus far.

- Sulpher baths and geothermal pools fuck up your skin (spots etc)
- Rotorua smells like eggs
- Lasagne pies exist in NZ and they're almost as good as the ones from Wedges on Cold Bath Road, Harrogate, North Yorkshire
- Chocolate bar flavours are on another level in NZ
- You can get a pretty delicious bottle of wine for $7.99 in Pak'n'Save (Gunn estate Sav and Merlot not bad at all)
- Avocados ripen when they want, no matter what you do
- Spiced Rum and orange Fanta isn't FANTAstic (see what I did there)
- Burger Fuel is fantastic (Shout Out PT for the V DUB and satay combo)
- There's more vegans than you think in the world and some of them aren't even that bad
- I can't remember the name of the this shot but, Tequila with lime dipped in coffee on one side and brown sugar on the other side are pretty good
- Deep fried Lasagne and or Mac and cheese slices exist and boy are they good/terrible for you
- NZ's best fish and chips so far has been Oxford Road in Hamilton
- "Everything's just better in Wellington"
-  Andrew Brownlie uses face masks to remain youthful (not travel related but still a fun fact)
- Ginuwine sings that song from Magic Mike (Pony) and it has been stuck in my head for like 3 days
- You don't want to stay in a hot tub for 2 hours after a 25 km hike as your hands could look like mine *see photos*
- Some people are horrible and will steal your beer out of the fridge in a hostel. So to ensure fun times make sure you always have emergency wine stashed
- You can cook an oven pizza in a pan but it may end up as a clazone
-  $14 dollars is a lot to pay for a knock off Guinness

That's all folks,